Meaning of Life

Do people try to use or seek intense physical experience or connection in place of, or to make up for, a lack of deep emotional connection? I that part (or all) of the reason why some people are controlling and manipulative?

I think so; I have come to this conclusion. Just thought I would share.

I think that is why most relationships fail. Perhaps if more people were like Dexter and used the "fake it till ya make it" strategy.

I think relationships rely on love, and hate.

You can't truly love someone until you have hated someone.

Sounds weird... but I think it's true.

When you can hate someone, and love them at the same time... you have a true love type situation.

Very interesting CDC… I have never really thought about it like that. In every LTR that I have been in there were most certainly times that involved feelings of animosity toward one another. Even knowing how much I loved and respected the person or how much she consistently reciprocated my love… there were indeed times when one or both of us uttered those three dreaded words. Then at some point we say that we didn’t mean it… but you still have to ask yourself the honest question of whether or not it sincerely felt like hate at that moment. I think the most common way I have ever verbalized it or had put to me was:

“The way that I feel at this moment, I despise the hell out of you, and your very presence is making me want to puke”

Something along those lines…

For any two individuals that can survive an intense verbal exchange such as this, the payoff is going to be some pretty unforgettable “make up sex” that will most undoubtedly include the exchange of those three beautiful words we all yearn to hear.

So I guess that if the hate is not expressed the love will not last.

Indeed. I think the foundation of a good relationship doesn't depend on how you are when you're doing great, it's how you are when you are fighting, and how you deal with it afterwords.

In my relationship, when the fight is over, it's over, completely, and is generally never spoken of again. We try to sort out the problem then and there. It doesn't do to let things fester.

Oh yeah, and then the make up sex you were talking about. That's always nice.

Don't let him fool you.

He beats me, so our fights generally end in the hospital.

But god damn, the blood and gore make up sex is amazing!

Onalish wrote:Don't let him fool you.

He beats me, so our fights generally end in the hospital.

But god damn, the blood and gore make up sex is amazing!

That's the best kind.

No GAH! wrote:

Onalish wrote:Don't let him fool you.

He beats me, so our fights generally end in the hospital.

But god damn, the blood and gore make up sex is amazing!

That's the best kind.

I know, right?

Sweetie, most deep intense relationships are doomed, because of too much passion and not enough logic, after it's over you want it back but you KNOW it is going to make you miserable. Then the really hard part sets in. After you do the deep intense thing you just can't settle for ordinary, which is why after my dead drug dealing love of my life, no one else could fill those shoes. If you choose hardcore passion you had best be ready to deal with hardcore anger and fights! Love ya

Sounds like eltown mom is trying to share her wisdom and save you guys some heartache.

No, the problem is people taking love to seriously. So you love each other. So what?

Doesn't change who you are. Either you can be yourself around the person you are with (which includes utilizing your reservations about the other), or you cannot.

If you can... awesome. If you can't. Better luck next time.

Love is perhaps the hardest thing to do well. Being yourself, is something I have seen you do with Alisha, but love has to taken seriously because if it isn't, you run the chance of taking someone for granted. That... Sir is a no no. I have been in love 3 times in my life and I am well aware of what it takes to make a good relationship, but I also have found out the hard way that love does not conquer all. Mostly it ends up being a shitstorm of wonder, fantastic moments, huge fights, sweet gestures, hardcore fights that leave you wondering if that person is still in your corner and the worst part is finding out you love someone that will drag you and everyone you love into a pile of garbage. While Alisha is not that way ( she is so sweet) ( Alisha put your dishes away! ) I am just saying don't take her for granted.

I would never take someone for granted that has made such an impact on my life.

You should have gotten that when you brought holly home.